I’ve been in the city of my dreams for a week now, and it’s been a roller coaster. The day before I came here, I got into a big fight with one of my best friends, and I felt horrible, almost defeated, but I said to myself “this is it, you have no more reasons to stay where you are”, so I grab my bags, and I left.
I’m not going to lie, I cried almost the whole way here, I was listening to sad songs, I was feeling miserable, and then, my friend text me “I’m sorry”, I said “I’m sorry too”, and we made up, I felt better, but it was not enough.
I got into the big city at 7 pm, still crying, still feeling like I didn’t know what I was doing. My friend –and now roommate, received me with a bottle of red wine and a slice of pizza, I cried again, then I fell asleep.
I have been looking for a job ever since, I walk pass a vegan restaurant one day (I’m a vegetarian, by the way), and I was like “I want to work here”, I ask if they were hiring, they said yes, I went there the next day, just to find out I didn’t like to be a waitress, at all. So I told them, thanks, and I didn’t show up the next day.
This whole week I have been learning that being alone in the big city can be amazing, but also dangerous, and lonely. Everyone’s busy, they walk very fast, and yes, there’s tons of places I want to go yet, but most importantly, I want to get a job, do something, I feel like I’m doing nothing yet.
So the big question in my head right now is “is this my dream?, is this what I always wanted?”
I don’t know, maybe I don’t really know what I want yet,
but I am in the city,
bnd she’s wild.
Maybe she’ll surprise me soon.